US bride’s $330,000 New Zealand wedding demands go viral after father refuses to pay

An American father’s plans to pay for his daughter’s dream wedding came unstuck when she revealed she wanted a lavish ceremony here in New Zealand - to the tune of US$200,000 ($336,000). 

Posting on Reddit, the distressed New Yorker says his daughter has stopped speaking to him after he reneged on his offer due to what he sees as an unnecessary cost to tie the knot. And he’s been met with support from fellow users commenting on his plight, posted to the “Am I An A******?” subreddit. 

Some have called his daughter “spoiled”, “entitled” and “audacious” and told him he’s right to tell her no. 

However, he says his wife has sided with his daughter because the family can afford the cost of the destination wedding. But he says he finds it “a pointless showing of wealth”. 

A New York father has taken to Reddit to ask if he's in the wrong for refusing to pay for his daughter's wedding. Photo / Reddit

He asked in his lengthy post: “Should I bite the bullet and essentially burn money and alienate family members to make my daughter’s dream wedding a reality?” 

He noted some family members wouldn’t be able to afford the flights, let alone accommodation, noting some don’t have passports and have never left the US. 

Self-deprecating about his past behaviours as a father, he wrote: “Before anything else, I know I am not the father of the year, and I am a spineless coward” who “agreed to pay for her wedding, but was not expecting her to want to get married in New Zealand”. 

One Reddit pundit suggested his daughter’s desire to get married in New Zealand was so she could post about it on social media. 

“Sounds like she might want a baller wedding to flex your wealth on social media. It’s pretty audacious to ask for a $200k wedding 9000 miles away from home.” 

Others raised practical concerns asking “What happens when people can’t make it because it’s a destination wedding? Are you supposed to pay for them, too?” 

Another said while he’s not wrong to deny forking out for such an extravagant celebration, he should accept some responsibility for raising “a spoiled, entitled daughter”. 

But he also revealed he had grown up in a family with financial struggles and didn’t want his daughter to experience that. But he admitted his efforts to shelter her from that have obviously gone too far in the other direction. 

“Don’t feel bad, unfortunately a lot or us that grew up with nothing have over compensated for our children and in turn they have grown up with some sh*tty expectations, you’re not alone and you’re not a bad dad.” 

This article was first published on the NZ Herald and is republished here with permission.