Holly Madison Reveals What It's Like To Live In The Playboy Mansion In New Memoir

It certainly looked like a luxurious, glitzy life in the E! reality series, The Girls Next Door.

Now Holly Madison has revealed what it was really like being one of Hugh Hefner's live-in girlfriends at his Playboy mansion in her racy new memoir, Down The Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures And Cautionary Tales Of A Former Playboy Bunny.

And she became so depressed she even thought about ending her own life, according to Us Weekly, quoting a release from publisher HarperCollins.

'Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all and quickly became her nightmare,' the release continued. 

'After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.'

The book also reveals the 'oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and [her] battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies.'

Now 35, Madison found fame in 2005 alongside Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson as Hef's three beautiful blonde girlfriends, featured in The Girls Next Door.

The reality show detailed the trio's luxury life in the exclusive Holmby Hills neighbourhood of Los Angeles for five seasons until it wrapped in 2010.

On the show Holly was Hef's number one girl, and the only one to share his bedroom rather than have her own.

She posed for the magazine and admitted to not just a breast augmentation and blonde hair dyeying but also that she had a nose job.

Madison is now married to Electric Daisy Carnival organiser Pasquale Rotella, 41, and they share two-year-old daughter Rainbow. 

'I think my stories will surprise people and I’m looking forward to lifting the veil of mystique and clearing up the misconceptions so often associated with my life.'

The description of the book on Amazon reads:

'A spontaneous decision at age twenty-one transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Sue Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s #1 girlfriend....what seemed like a fairytale life inside the Playboy Mansion—including A-list celebrity parties and her own #1-rated television show for four years—quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies.

And that's not all - as the description also promises to delve into her life after Hef: 

She ' opens up about life inside the Mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself.

'With great courage, Holly shares the details of her subsequent troubled relationship, landing her own successful television series, and the hard work of healing, including her turn on Dancing with the Stars.'

- US Weekly 

- Images: Getty & Harper Collins